Shark Attack
We are learning to to write for a specific audience and to edit our work so that it makes sense for our readers.
The waves washed ashore bringing a bunch of sea ornaments on the coast. Humongous waves were formed, heading my direction and I knew it was time to depart. As I sunk deeper into the sea bed, I decided to start to paddle towards the waves, avoiding any ripples. Sirens went off warning those in sea of a creature approaching the beach. I swam back leaving my board behind but as I turned back to get my surfboard, the view of the flaring sun blinded my sight, and large waves hit me like liquid boulders. It felt like several gunshots were fired at my entire body, unable to fight back, unable to breathe. I flowed elegantly, not able to move one inch of my body, as a consequence of not moving at all, a chilling presence arrived.
Bethany, fought for her life, struggling to get free from the monstrous sea creature. A destructive pain urged through Bethany’s body, red velvet liquid flowed through the seawater, disintegrating very quickly. She kicked violently and was set free, she was able to reach the surface of the sea, struggling to swim. There was no sight of the cold-blooded creature, but in that case there was also no feeling of her right arm. Bethany blared horrendously in pain and in disturbance attracting the creature towards her. She glared back as kilometres between the creature and her became metres. Kicking her pale feet urgently made her more visible to the creature, besides the amount of blood that was flowing continuously much like a mini waterfall.
Bethany didn’t have much time to swim back to shore nor did she have time to swim to a nearby rock island. Her only chance of surviving was a buoy which was just 9 yards away but Bethany doubted her strength and ability to swim. Every stroke, every kick was a death defying move, no matter what, she couldn’t look back. Bethany reached the buoy, panting madly, trying to catch her breath. It appeared to her, that the creature that bit her fragile wing was non other then a barbarous shark. She took her necklace and earrings off which were both horned shape. She pressed on her wound and started stitching it with her necklace, using her earrings to secure the pieces of skin together. Every stitch caused her distress which she couldn’t hold in, so she took her rash top off and ripped one sleeve off with her bare teeth. She used the sleeve to wrap around her upper arm to keep the blood from flowing.
As everyone on the coast evacuated from the shallow parts of the sea, they spotted Bethany yelling from a distance.“Pleeaase!!Heeellpp!! Shaarrkk!!”. She was waving madly, hoping they could hear her or at least see her. All eyes were on her, the life guards made a plan to receive Bethany without anyone getting hurt. Four lifeguards hopped on a rescue boat and set off towards the floating buoy. The shark circled around the Buoy as the rescue boat came closer, the shark swam away which relieved everyone. Then a few moments later the shark turned around and charged forward towards the boat, knocking a life guard out of the boat, plummeting into the sea. Bethany had realised that the Shark was swimming towards the life guard, so she jumped into the water, using all the strength she had left in her to save the poor man. She could feel herself weaken every time she moved her right arm, slowly losing connection, feeling numb and cold. She reached the lifeguard just as the shark appeared, pushing him out of the way gesturing him to flee so she can face the shark herself.
Her worst enemy was shooting towards her like a giant bullet. While Bethany panicked and searched for a weapon really quickly. When all hope was lost, she swam back to the buoy with the shark on her tail. She rocked the buoy loosening the chains attached to the sea bed. One chain broke off causing the buoy to tip over, then back up, the second chain broke off and the whole buoy toppled over. The shark was ruthless, it bit the top part of the buoy, getting its teeth stuck on a metallic hook. Bethany escaped and returned to try to break the remaining chain off, she pulled and tried forcing the chain out. The shark managed to get free but before he could prance on Bethany she had already broken the remaining chain. She was pulled downwards towards the spikes that held the chains and as she planned the shark followed. She glared behind catching the shark’s beady eyes, let go of the chain and moved out of the way before she hit the spikes. Because the shark swam so fast, it couldn’t brake in time so the shark ended up being skewered.
After that, she fell unconscious and drifted towards shore, still bleeding out. A little boy tugged his mum’s dress and pointed to Bethany who washed up on shore. Everyone surrounded her, calling for help, performing CPR. As she coughed up water her vision cleared and she knew she was safe.
A year later, Bethany continued surfing and worked as a medical student. She learnt so much from that terrifying experience and knew she would be scarred for life. An unforgettable day, that impacted her life so much. Though she hadn’t really regretted it because it made her more brave.
The waves washed ashore bringing a bunch of sea ornaments on the coast. Humongous waves were formed, heading my direction and I knew it was time to depart. As I sunk deeper into the sea bed, I decided to start to paddle towards the waves, avoiding any ripples. Sirens went off warning those in sea of a creature approaching the beach. I swam back leaving my board behind but as I turned back to get my surfboard, the view of the flaring sun blinded my sight, and large waves hit me like liquid boulders. It felt like several gunshots were fired at my entire body, unable to fight back, unable to breathe. I flowed elegantly, not able to move one inch of my body, as a consequence of not moving at all, a chilling presence arrived.
Bethany, fought for her life, struggling to get free from the monstrous sea creature. A destructive pain urged through Bethany’s body, red velvet liquid flowed through the seawater, disintegrating very quickly. She kicked violently and was set free, she was able to reach the surface of the sea, struggling to swim. There was no sight of the cold-blooded creature, but in that case there was also no feeling of her right arm. Bethany blared horrendously in pain and in disturbance attracting the creature towards her. She glared back as kilometres between the creature and her became metres. Kicking her pale feet urgently made her more visible to the creature, besides the amount of blood that was flowing continuously much like a mini waterfall.
Bethany didn’t have much time to swim back to shore nor did she have time to swim to a nearby rock island. Her only chance of surviving was a buoy which was just 9 yards away but Bethany doubted her strength and ability to swim. Every stroke, every kick was a death defying move, no matter what, she couldn’t look back. Bethany reached the buoy, panting madly, trying to catch her breath. It appeared to her, that the creature that bit her fragile wing was non other then a barbarous shark. She took her necklace and earrings off which were both horned shape. She pressed on her wound and started stitching it with her necklace, using her earrings to secure the pieces of skin together. Every stitch caused her distress which she couldn’t hold in, so she took her rash top off and ripped one sleeve off with her bare teeth. She used the sleeve to wrap around her upper arm to keep the blood from flowing.
As everyone on the coast evacuated from the shallow parts of the sea, they spotted Bethany yelling from a distance.“Pleeaase!!Heeellpp!! Shaarrkk!!”. She was waving madly, hoping they could hear her or at least see her. All eyes were on her, the life guards made a plan to receive Bethany without anyone getting hurt. Four lifeguards hopped on a rescue boat and set off towards the floating buoy. The shark circled around the Buoy as the rescue boat came closer, the shark swam away which relieved everyone. Then a few moments later the shark turned around and charged forward towards the boat, knocking a life guard out of the boat, plummeting into the sea. Bethany had realised that the Shark was swimming towards the life guard, so she jumped into the water, using all the strength she had left in her to save the poor man. She could feel herself weaken every time she moved her right arm, slowly losing connection, feeling numb and cold. She reached the lifeguard just as the shark appeared, pushing him out of the way gesturing him to flee so she can face the shark herself.
Her worst enemy was shooting towards her like a giant bullet. While Bethany panicked and searched for a weapon really quickly. When all hope was lost, she swam back to the buoy with the shark on her tail. She rocked the buoy loosening the chains attached to the sea bed. One chain broke off causing the buoy to tip over, then back up, the second chain broke off and the whole buoy toppled over. The shark was ruthless, it bit the top part of the buoy, getting its teeth stuck on a metallic hook. Bethany escaped and returned to try to break the remaining chain off, she pulled and tried forcing the chain out. The shark managed to get free but before he could prance on Bethany she had already broken the remaining chain. She was pulled downwards towards the spikes that held the chains and as she planned the shark followed. She glared behind catching the shark’s beady eyes, let go of the chain and moved out of the way before she hit the spikes. Because the shark swam so fast, it couldn’t brake in time so the shark ended up being skewered.
After that, she fell unconscious and drifted towards shore, still bleeding out. A little boy tugged his mum’s dress and pointed to Bethany who washed up on shore. Everyone surrounded her, calling for help, performing CPR. As she coughed up water her vision cleared and she knew she was safe.
A year later, Bethany continued surfing and worked as a medical student. She learnt so much from that terrifying experience and knew she would be scarred for life. An unforgettable day, that impacted her life so much. Though she hadn’t really regretted it because it made her more brave.
Based on true events-Shallows
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